Well well well...It's been a while. Snowpocolypse has brought me to the brink of death and has made me examine my life. Upon this introspection I realized I have been ignoring many things in life; my hygiene, my conscience, and my blog. So to it's time to Adam Lambert this bitch with some funny thoughts either spawned from my gooey brain or overheard in others colloquy:
- Mentally handicapped children smell like dodge balls.
- Googling a girl is really creepy, but Binging her is absolutely filthy.
- If anyone uses the word 'lifestyle' distrust them.
- I used to date a Jamaican girl. I could never take her seriously. Every time she spoke I just laughed; I couldn't stop thinking of the crab from the Little Mermaid.
- Celebrities make a lot of money. They make money even after they die too; Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised though, because Berny made like 3 movies over 5 weekends and he died before he was even famous.
- I had a really crazy trip one time. I started peaking right when I was taking a huge poop. Since then, whenever I take big poos, I have flashbacks...it makes me poo harder.
- The sole existence of smart phones is to prove people wrong.
- Doggy Style- it's just one lean-back away from reverse cow girl.
- He's the kind of guy that mispronounces things on porpoise
- I randomly heard the end of some guy's conversation the other day; "They're on my list of people to facebook..." That was creepy.
It's snowing pretty hard here, so I'm gonna go pee in it.